Youth is a Wonderful Thing. What a Crime to Waste it on Children.

Let me just start out by saying that I don't like children. They are annoying little germ monsters and for those of us who are childless it's a struggle to live with them. Don't get me wrong, not all children are like that. Some kids are lovely, polite little people who are just precious. However, working in retail, you more than likely deal with some shitty kid throwing tantrums and acting like a maniac while their parent just looks on, thinking to themselves "I have such a delightful, unique little snowflake." Wrong! Little junior son of a bitch over there is what's wrong with kids today. In my day (holy fuck I'm old) we were brought up to respect elders and behave out in public or else. For example, if I acted up my mother would take me to the car and smack me upside the head (Editors Note: I am not condoning child abuse in any way, however if you're gonna act like a little shit then you should suffer the consequences.) Because of this my siblings and I were always on our best behavior and knew to toe the line. The fear of God (or wooden spoon) if you will. Does that work for every child? No but you can't just let them run amok out in society. Keep your kids in check, especially at a store. Don't let them run through the aisles, destroying everything in their path. Remember; there are people that have to clean that stuff up and if it were up to us we'd drop kick your child up on out of there. With that, let's get to today's tale.

No, you can't have any candy. Also, there is no Santa Claus.

 

I Hate You

The sound of a child crying cuts through me like a knife. This is one of the main reasons as to why I never plan on having them. That and I'd rather buy a boat then pay for a college tuition. Also, I'm incredibly selfish and impatient . At least I'm honest. Anyway, one of the major contributing factors of my decision has been watching the parent-child interactions at work. Most of the time, the kids are ok but there are sometimes when the child is so misbehaved that I want to punch them in the throat (Again, not condoning child abuse. Although it would seem otherwise.)


One such instance was not to long ago at my place of employment. It's in a high end neighborhood full of shitty people with shitty parenting skill thus causing shitty children. One such child came into the store, screamed the entire time he was there and the mother did little to stop him. He wanted candy, she said no. He then proceeded to knock down a display of chocolates and try to put them in the cart. Mother did nothing and left everything a mess. Then these two came up to my register, the child still wailing, with a handful of candy, which mother bought anyway. Oh, and then the kid threw the candy at me as I was trying to ring it up. Again, mother did nothing and chose to talk on her phone instead. I wanted to let her know that she was doing a bang-up job on raising a future serial killer and/or date rapist. Moral of the story? Don't have kids if you can't keep them in line.